


Respite

by svllux



Series: Dramakidsstuck Backstories [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Bipolar Depressive Character, Gen, Humanstuck, Illegal Activities, Schizophrenia mention, Suicide Attempt, Suicide mention, Underage Drinking, dramakidsstuck, except for at the end, fake ids, i'm making this sound like it's full of angst but it's really not, wh00ps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 14:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3329324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svllux/pseuds/svllux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another sleepless night finds Sollux and his fake ID at a bar, where he notices one all-too-drunk Eridan Ampora, otherwise known as the bane of his existence, otherwise known as his rival since second grade, being harassed by some sleazeball. Eridan's alone on his birthday, on Valentine's Day, and Sollux is under the strong belief that the only one allowed to fuck with Eridan is him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Respite

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't already checked the tags for this, please do. Some heavy subjects are mentioned.

Your name is **SOLLUX CAPTOR** and you are **CROSS,** uncomfortably so.

You are **FIFTEEN YEARS OLD** and in the **MIDDLE OF THE NINTH GRADE.** It has been a little over a **YEAR** since your **BROTHER,** otherwise known as **MITUNA CAPTOR,** was in the accident that **TOOK A PORTION OF HIS MEMORY** and gave him **EXTENSIVE BRAIN DAMAGE.** Other aftermath of the accident includes **KURLOZ MAKARA** becoming **MUTE** and **CRONUS AMPORA** receiving two **WOBBLY SCARS** on his forehead. They both also **LOST THEIR MEMORY.** The three of them cannot remember anything past the **FIRST FEW WEEKS** of their **NINTH GRADE YEAR.** They are now in **ELEVENTH GRADE** and you are **ONE OF TWO** people who know an **UGLY SECRET** about the accident. 

You have **SCHIZOPHRENIA.** It is an **UNDISPUTED FACT** and your voices haven't shut up since the **FIFTH GRADE** despite copious amounts of **MEDICATION** and **THERAPY.** Even now, sitting here in this **BAR,** they chatter at you incessantly, saying **DEROGATORY** things about you that you **KIND OF AGREE WITH--** and this is one of your **BETTER DAYS,** where things around you are **CLEAR** and your thoughts aren't **DISTORTED.** Your doctors refer to your condition as **HIGH-FUNCTIONING SCHIZOPHRENIA,** and are apparently **PLEASANTLY SURPRISED** by this; something about **TEENAGERS** not usually **MANAGING THIS WELL.** Your response is always that most **TEENAGERS** don't have **ARADIA MEGIDO,** otherwise known as your **BEST FRIEND.**

As previously mentioned, you are in a **BAR.** That **UGLY SECRET** about the accident has led to many **SLEEPLESS NIGHTS,** even more than you already had due to your **CODING BINGES.** To fill up these **SLEEPLESS NIGHTS,** you have (through some very **SHADY MEANS)** acquired a **FAKE ID.** It's not **DIFFICULT** to pass yourself off as **TWENTY-TWO;** your **LACK OF SLEEP** combined with your **DISGUST** toward most **FOOD** and **ENTHUSIASM** for **ENERGY DRINKS** made you lose what **BABY FAT** you had left. It's not the only **"FAT"** you lost, but it does **WONDERS** for making you look **OLDER.**

Even more previously mentioned, you are **CROSS.** Currently, you are **SITTING ALONE** at a table in the corner of the **BAR,** and you are **FAIRLY SURE** you're squinting at **ERIDAN AMPORA,** otherwise known as the **BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE,** otherwise known as your **RIVAL SINCE SECOND GRADE.** He's sitting at the actual **BAR,** slouching and kind of **SWAYING BACK AND FORTH** as he talks to some **GUY** nearly **TWICE HIS SIZE** and probably **TWICE HIS AGE** who is not **NEARLY AS DRUNK AS HE IS. ERIDAN AMPORA** does not **SLOUCH;** he is no doubt **INEBRIATED BEYOND BELIEF.** However, those things are not the most **WRONG** about the scene.

It is **FEBRUARY FOURTEENTH,** otherwise known as **VALENTINE'S DAY,** otherwise known as **ERIDAN AMPORA'S BIRTHDAY.** It is **TEN AT NIGHT** and **ERIDAN AMPORA** is sitting at a bar **DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND** with someone he **DOESN'T KNOW** on his **BIRTHDAY.** You'd think he'd be **CELEBRATING;** not with **FEFERI PEIXES,** who broke up with him **THREE WEEKS** ago, but at least with **KARKAT VANTAS** or **CRONUS AMPORA,** otherwise known as **ERIDAN AMPORA'S BROTHER,** or even **YOUR OWN BROTHER,** who is friends with **ERIDAN** for some reason.

You watch for a **FEW MORE MINUTES** before turning back to your **DRINK;** you don't really like **ALCOHOL,** but it tends to **FUZZ OUT THE NOISE** in your head. When you look back up, the **GUY** is leaning in closer to your **RIVAL** with a **SLEAZY GRIN** and a **SUGGESTIVE AIR** about him. He says something and **ERIDAN** shakes his head, laughing a little. The **GUY'S** expression becomes a little **STRAINED,** and he says something else, to which **ERIDAN** shakes his head again. This happens a couple more times until **ERIDAN** is looking uncomfortable and the **GUY** is **OPENLY SCOWLING.** He **STANDS UP** and grabs **ERIDAN'S WRIST,** yanking him off the **STOOL.** You can hear **ERIDAN'S** noise of pain from where you are, and you stand up immediately. He's trying to **STEP BACK** and tug his **ARM** away from the **GUY,** but the **GUY** is practically spitting words at him and slowly tugging him toward the **EXIT.** Your eyes narrow and you push away from your **TABLE,** making a **BEELINE** toward the pair.

"Ith there a problem?" You ask once you're a couple feet away, close enough to see the terror and panic in Eridan's eyes and to recognize they guy as the same one who's here every week trying to pick people up. He looks you up and down, gives a strained smile.

"My boyfriend is just being a little difficult," he says, giving a small, not actually amused laugh. "You know how they get." You give him a smile about as fake as his excuse and reach forward, encasing his wrist in a vice grip and painstakingly removing his fingers from around Eridan's wrist one by one while he gapes. You don't spare Eridan a glance, just corral him behind you where you can feel him gripping the back of your shirt.

"Funny thing about that thtory," you say flatly as Eridan huddles up closer to your back. "It'th about ath real ath a goddamn air guitar. I know for a fact thith idiot ithn't dating you. You thould probably jutht leave." The guy narrows his eyes, crowding in closer and craning his neck so he can glare down at you. He's got to be at least a foot and a quarter taller than you, but his muscles aren't from fighting; they're from body-building.

"Listen here, you lispy little shit," he says, spittle flying over your face. You make an expression of disgust and wipe it off as he continues. "I just spent two hours buttering that twink up-"

"You know, I alwayth thaw him ath more of a top mythelf-"

"-and I'm not going to let your scrawny ass interfere before I can be balls-deep in _that_ scrawny ass."

"Hm. Wanna know what I have to thay to that?"

"What?" He sneers at you, and you smile faux-sweetly again.

"Abtholutely nothing." You punch him hard in the jaw and he falls down, probably from shock more than anything else. You spot Eridan's dumb messenger bag and scarf, scooping them up before taking him by the elbow and leading him out. You walk for about a block, (one of his arms now around your shoulders so he doesn't wobble so much) phone out and speed dial at the ready before you're sure they guy from the bar isn't following and you stop. Shaking your head, you set his messenger bag down and look at him for the first time. He's staring down at you with wide eyes. 

"... Sol?" You blink, taking a moment to realize that he's nicknaming you like he does to everyone else. It's weird to hear; he always calls you "Captor" and you call him "Ampora."

"Yeah, it'th me," you say finally, taking his scarf and reaching up to wrap it around his neck. He looks weird without it. He blinks, still staring down at you. "What?" You ask, picking up his bag and slipping it over your shoulders. He reaches out, puts a hand on your face. You roll your eyes. "I'm real, Ampora. I'm not a figment of your imaginathun."

"Fuckin' feels like you-w are," he murmurs, putting his hand back down. "Wwhy did you-w..?" You roll your eyes again. You do that a lot when he's around.

"I wathn't jutht going to let you be fucking abducted and raped, Ampora." He cringes at the word and you sigh, patting his shoulder. "Come on. You can jutht... Thtay at my houthe tonight," you say reluctantly. "Yourth ith too far to walk to while you're like thith. Chritht, have you even touched a drop of alcohol before tonight? That wath fucking thtupid of you. Ithn't it your birthday? Why the hell are you alone at a goddamn bar?" He shrugs, suddenly looking far too emotional for your liking.

"... Dad and Cro-w forgot it wwas my birthday," he mumbles, his weird speech pattern even more pronounced with his heavy, drunken words. You take a metaphorical step back, raising a brow at him.

"Forgot your birthday. Even though it'th Valentine'th Day." He shrugs miserably, hugging himself as he sways and you reach out a hand to steady him without really realizing it.

"Dad's awway on a job and Cro-w scheduled a date or somethin', I dunno-w." A swell of pity rises in your chest and lodges itself there; you let out a resigned sigh.

"Alright, Ampora, let'th go." As you start walking he won't uncross his arms, so you wrap an arm tightly around his waist to keep him steady. This entire situation is bizarre. It does take awhile to get to your house, around twenty minutes, and by the time you do Eridan has practically all of his weight leaning on you. You fish your keys from your pocket; your dad is out with some friends and Mituna is at Kurloz's house. Neither will be back until the following afternoon. It takes some maneuvering to get Eridan inside, which you do with minimal effort; it's ten thirty once you've dumped Eridan on the couch and gotten him out of his coat, along with given him a bucket in case he has to puke.

"Thtay here," you tell him. "I gotta do thome thtuff in the kitchen. I'll be back out thoon." He makes some kind of agreement noise and you disappear into the kitchen.

You **CAN'T BELIEVE** you're doing this. You have been, admittedly, in a **RUT-** a **RUT** that was supposed to meet its end **TONIGHT** with the aid of an **ENTIRE BOTTLE OF GENERIC PAINKILLERS-** and now you're getting ready to make a **BIRTHDAY CAKE** for **ERIDAN AMPORA** of all goddamn people, and you **AREN'T SURE WHY,** and you actually **WANT** to. You haven't **WANTED** to do anything in a **LONG TIME.** There's plenty of **BAKING MATERIALS** around the kitchen; **MITUNA** and **KURLOZ** bake a lot. **FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER,** the **CAKE** is in the **OVEN** and the **FROSTING** is made. You return to the **LIVING ROOM,** where **ERIDAN** is laying on his back and **STARING BLANKLY** at the ceiling. 

"Somthin' real bad wwoulda' happened if you-w hadn't a' been there," he mumbles, closing his eyes. You shrug, even though he can't see it, and rest your head against the wall.

"Well, I wath, tho don't think about what would've happened, jutht think about the fact that you're never going to go to a bar again." Having people who aren't you harass or fight Eridan feels weird and wrong. He shrugs a little.

"O-wkay by me," he replies. "I'm just really sad noww. Probably because a' this alcohol. An' because a' Fef." He throws an arm over his eyes. "I lovve her so-w coddamn much an' she just... doesn't. Wwhat the hell did I do-w wwrong? Two-w years, I thought wwe wwere just fine... I thought wwe wwere gonna get married or somethin' wwhen wwe wwere older." You put a hand over your face. You don't have to deal with this, but you want to.

"That'th unrealithtic," you say finally. "You jutht turned thickthteen, Ampora-"

"Do-wn't call me that."

"Thorry, what?" He shifts on the couch, what you can see of his face frowning.

"Do-wn't call me 'Ampora'. It's fuckin' dumb, Sol. Givve me w-one of those two-w letter nicknames you-w give evveryw-one else."

"... Okay. ED." He smiles and you wriggle uncomfortably. You feel weird. Kind of like how you used to feel around Aradia before things got bad, before the accident, before everything just went to shit. Happy, maybe? 

"Anywayth. You jutht turned thickthteen, ED, and high thchool romantheth hardly ever mean anything. I mean, theriouthly, our parentth and their friendth from high thchool? They're all thingle parentth now. They all had one kid right outta high thchool, got married in thome catheth, had another kid and then one parent thkipped out, eckthept for thothe two or three catheth where it wath marginally different." He peeks out from under his arm.

"Wwhat's your point, Sol?" He closes his eyes again and you allow yourself to scrub at your face and get your bearings.

"My point, ED, ith that the end of you and FF ithn't the end of your life. You're gonna find thomeone elthe at thome point and you're gonna be way happier with them than you ever were for even a thecond with her." You walk over to the couch and sit by his feet, tired of standing. He's quiet, seeming to mull things over.

"... I'm nevver goin' to-w find anyw-one else, Sol. People do-wn't fall in lovve wwith me. Fef wwas a fluke. I hardly evven havve friends or people who-w can remotely stand me."

"Thould you really reveal all thethe thingth to me of all people?" You ask in a half-hearted joke, not sure how to deal with this emotional outpouring. He just shrugs.

"You-w wwon't tell anyw-one."

"Won't I?" You lean back and he snorts, pulling his feet up and putting them in your lap so you can sit comfortably.

"You-w wwon't. It's kinda our unspoken rule, isn't it? No-w w-one's allowwed to-w hurt us unless it's each other. I'd kick the ass a' anyw-one who-w fucks with you, an' then I'd followw it up by insultin' you-w or somethin'." You laugh at that, shaking your head before you realize laughing isn't something you've done in awhile.

"I thought I wath the only one who thought that about uth," you confide. "Theriouthly, ED, if thomebody fucked with you I'd probably fuck them up ten timeth worthe." You can see his grin despite the lighting being so dim now, and he pokes your stomach with his toe.

"That settles it, Sol, wwe're official. Exclusivve. You can't hate anyw-one else the wway you hate me, wwe're like... Hate-datin' or somethin'." You pat his ankle with a small snort and smile.

"Wouldn't dream of it, ED. You are truly the only perthon I have room in my heart for hating like thith," you say, only half-teasing, really. Yeah, you hate other people, like Latula, but it's... Different. You actually be upset if something happened to Eridan, whereas you'd only be upset for Mituna if something happened to Latula.

"Wwell, at least if no w-one's evver gonna lovve me I'vve got you-w to fall back on," he replies, rolling onto his side.

"Thith ith the wortht, I thould not be having to comfort you right now," you say seriously, but you're grinning again. "Theriouthly, ED. Of courthe no one'th gonna fall in love with you if you think like that. And people don't jutht... Fall in love like _that_." You snap your fingers. "It taketh time. AA? I liked her in thecond grade, but I didn't _love_ her until fourth grade. I never really liked her romantically, even though I thought I did. AA ith my thoul mate, and thee'th the one perthon I _know_ I'm going to have with me for the retht of my life." You hesitate. "You lotht your betht friend ath well ath your girlfriend when FF broke up with you. That doethn't mean you're not going to find a new betht friend or a new datemate, it jutht meanth thingth might be rough for awhile if you need thomeone to fall back on." He 'hm's and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"You're bein' awful philo-wsophical, Sol." You roll your eyes and shake your head.

"I'm jutht thaying, ED. It'th not like you're unlovable or thomething." You find yourself patting his ankle again. He scoffs.

"Aren't I?"

"You're not."

"You-w can't say that, Sol, you-w hate me." It's your turn to scoff.

"Can't I? Jutht becauthe I hate you that doethn't mean you don't have good pointth." He frowns, looks at you.

"I don't. I'm just this ball a' pathetic nothin' who-w happened to catch w-one good break."

"Oh Jethuth Chritht- you're intelligent. You can ackthually hold a meaningful converthathun and wield your wordth like fucking weaponth. You're compathionate when it cometh to the people you care about. You know how to throw a punch like nobody'th buthineth. You're cunning- do you even remember that time you got uth out of be eckthpelled in theventh grade? Thtop making me thay nithe thingth about you. It'th weird." You close your eyes and lean your head back on the couch; his feet disappear from your lap and you wonder what he's doing, but then there's a new weight in your lap. You open your eyes and look down, and Eridan's staring up at you. You blink.

"... Thank you-w," he says finally, leaning his head against your stomach. "I'll remember those things." You blink again, then again. Eridan is probably not a person who should be making you feel so content after over a year of barely cracking a smile. _Chemical reactions_ your brain says vaguely. And it's your actual brain. Your thought. Focusing so hard on Eridan seems to have drowned out the voices for the moment. He lifts his head a little, looking at you suspiciously and sniffing the air.

"Is that... Cake?"

"Maybe." He's up before you quite realize it, falling once you have, and standing back up to wait for you impatiently once you finally stand. "Chritht, ED, calm down. C'mere." You take his elbow to keep him from wobbling too badly; once you're in the kitchen, you sit him down at the island counter in a chair.

"Thtill hath to cook a couple more minuteth," you say, closing the oven door.

"Wwhat's the cake for?" You squint at him from across the kitchen.

"What the fuck do you think it'th for, dumbath?" He blinks and you sigh. "Your birthday. I'm making you a birthday cake. Y'know, to try and make up for your thitty birthday. MT thaid thomething about you liking lemon cake when he made it latht year, tho..." You shrug uncomfortably, but he's beaming at you.

"Lemon cake is fuckin' delicious, Sol, you-w're a saint." He folds his hands together and rests his chin on them; you can hear his toes hitting against the counter and assume he's swinging his legs. With a sigh, you shake your head and turn to the oven again.

* * *

 

"Happy birthday, ED." You set the cake down and do little jazz hands; it's not the prettiest, but it does say "Happy Birthday, ED" in somewhat legible letters and it's got to be covered in a pound of frosting. Or something like that.

"Cut me a really big piece." You roll your eyes. 

"No. If you end up puking later, I don't want there to be cake everywhere, Jethuth. You can have a thmall piethe now. More in the morning." He squints at you. "You get to take it all home, anyway." It takes more cajoling, but you're both finally settled and eating this surprisingly okay cake.

You **CANNOT BELIEVE** this. It's **ELEVEN THIRTY** at night and you are **EATING CAKE** with your **RIVAL.**

"... Thith whole thituathun ith tho weird," you mumble to yourself, and Eridan shrugs beside you. When Eridan's done his cake and nearly passing out at the counter, you loop his arm around your shoulders again and half-carry, half-drag him to your room. Your clothes are too small for him, so you have to nab some of Mituna's pajamas instead. You change while he's crashing around in the bathroom, rolling your eyes and going in to see him stuck in the shirt.

"You're a goddamn idiot," you inform him, unpopping a button so you can get his head through the top. His hair's messed up now; there doesn't seem to be any product in it, which had been hidden by the stupid beanie he'd been wearing. You button the shirt again, nodding to yourself before bringing him to your bed and plopping him down.

"Go to thleep," you say, wandering over to your computer and sitting down. Usually you'd still be at the bar, but you guess you can fuck around on coolmath4kids or something mundane like that. You already know you're not getting any sleep tonight; your brain is too filled with thoughts about that **UGLY SECRET** now that Eridan is taken care of and in- 

"Sol." The voice is right next to your ear and you jump so hard you think your heart slammed into your stomach.

"Chritht, ED. What?"

"Wwell..." You spin your chair around and he's standing there twisting the hem of the shirt and looking... Sheepish, maybe. "Do you havve somethin' I can, y'knoww... Cuddle? 'Cause I'vve got this big shark plushie at home an' I havve trouble sleepin' withou-wt it an'-"

"Chritht, jutht thut up." You herd him toward your bed again, nudging him down and hesitating a second before crawling in after him with a sigh and pulling the blankets over the two of you. If you're going to be bored anyway, you may as well be useful. "Okay, cuddle away." He gives you a skeptical look. "Yeth, ED, I'm theriouth. Aren't we hate-datemateth? Hatemateth," you remind him, pulling up that ridiculous sounding notion from earlier. "Hate-cuddle away." He nestles up close to you this time, head against your chest and arms around your waist. It's kind of comical; he's half a foot taller than you and while he isn't wide, you're ridiculously skinny. Against your better judgment, your hands go to playing with his hair and he lets out a small, happy sigh.

"Hate you-w," he mumbles, and you laugh.

"Hate you too, ED."

* * *

 

When you **WAKE UP,** you feel **WEIRD;** you were **SURE** you weren't going to get to **SLEEP** yesterday, yet here you are, **WAKING UP.** Upon further inspection, you realize you are being **HELD TIGHTLY,** with someone's **HEAD** tucked over **YOUR OWN.** Oh, yes, **THAT'S RIGHT. ERIDAN** had stayed the night, and you had acted in place of a **STUFFED SHARK** and... You'd **FALLEN ASLEEP** on a **SLEEPLESS NIGHT.** Your **SELF-HATE** had **QUIETED** some. You're **STILL CUDDLING ERIDAN.**

Holy shit, you're **STILL CUDDLING ERIDAN.** You consider **MOVING,** but you're pretty **WARM** and **COMFORTABLE.** You also think you want to **POSTPONE** dealing with **ERIDAN'S FIRST HANGOVER** as long as possible. Inevitably, around **TEN MINUTES** later, he lets out a groan and brings one hand to his forehead.

"Oh, cod," he mutters, holding you tighter and burying his face in your hair. You roll your eyes, snake your arms up around his neck.

"Morning, fith fathe," you say. "Need thome athpirin for that headache?"

"Cod, ye- Captor?" He pulls away and stares at you, confusion written all over his face. You're grinning widely, unable to help it; inconveniencing Eridan in any way is what you live for at this point.

"Don't break your brain, Ampora. Let it come back to you thlowly. All the fun we had yethterday." A look of pure, unadulterated terror crosses his face before he scowls and shoves at you, albeit not roughly.

"Do-wn't _say_ shit like that, I wwas _wworried_ oh my cod." He closes his eyes and flops onto his back, letting out a small whimper as his head bounces on the mattress. "... Wwere you serious about that aspirin?" You snort, sitting up and stretching with a yawn.

"I wouldn't touch you like that with a ten foot pole, Ampora. Gimme a minute on the athpirin." You walk into the bathroom, pick up the unopened **BOTTLE OF GENERIC PAINKILLERS** from the counter, hesitate. After a moment you break the plastic seal and open it up, shaking a couple into your hand and bringing the bottle back in with you. You set the bottle down and hand him the pills, picking up an unopened water bottle from the case on the floor and giving him that, too. He nods and you walk over to your computer chair, sitting down and booting up your laptop.

"You can thower or whatever if you want," you tell him, resting your chin in your hand and reaching under your desk for an energy drink. "All my thampoo and thtuff ith on the thelf in the thower. I don't know when you want to leave, but I don't care. Dad and MT will be back thometime after two. You can take that bottle of athpirin with you when you go." He lets out a grunt. A few minutes pass in silence, and then:

"... Thanks. For yesterday." You shrug a little and open your drink, chugging half of it in one go.

"Any dethent human being would have done the thame thing. Not that I am one. But thtill."

"Wwhy do you alwways say negativve thins about yourself like that? That's kinda my job." You snort and shrug again, tapping a finger against your track pad idly. Maybe you'll go on tumblr and fuck around for a bit, that never fails to change your mood in no way whatsoever. Maybe Ricky's on pesterchum. Is Aradia coming over today? You can't remember. You can't bring yourself to care, which you know makes you a shitty friend.

"Why wouldn't I? I'm bathically the thittietht perthon I know." He doesn't say anything else but you hear rustling. 

"I'm go-win' to-w showwer," he mutters as he walks past you, yesterday's clothes balled under his arm. You shrug, scrolling down your dash aimlessly as you hear the shower start up. There's a selfie from Feferi here, another lengthy review of some shitty romcom from Karkat there, another selfie from Ricky, a drawing from that one artist you like. After only a few minutes you hear the shower turn off, and a few minutes after that he comes back into your room. He stops next to your chair and spins you to face him, hunching over you and gripping the armrests.

"Wwhy do-w you-w put up wwith all this shit from me if you-w already hate yourself that much?" You casually sling your arms up over his shoulders and lean back in the chair, shrugging. He has to lean forward more to be comfortable standing, still, and a shot of satisfaction goes through you. Inconveniencing Eridan is definitely your favorite thing to do.

"You thee, Ampora," you say, idly toying with his hair, "it'th good to have thomeone around who hateth you more than you hate yourthelf. It'th a nithe feeling." He blinks, sighs, absconds from your personal bubble.

"Yeah... Yeah. I get that." He seems to consider something, then rolls his eyes. "This situ-wation is so cliche. I mean, really, rivvals bein' throwwn to-wgether because a' unforseen circumstances and talkin' about dumb emo-wtional shit? This is exactly like w-one a' Kar's shitty movvies." You snort at that, you _have_ to, because he's right. You kind of want to laugh hysterically at how fucked up this situation truly is, but you don't have the willpower or the energy. Seven years. Seven years you've hated Eridan Ampora, and now he's standing in your room smelling like your shower products after a night of cuddling for fuck's sake. You turn back to your computer, refreshing the page.

"Alright, I'm leavvin'," he announces, and you turn to see he's got his coat and bag on. You nod.

"Cake'th on the counter. Don't leave it here." He nods as well and exits; about a minute later you notice his scarf still on the floor and you sigh, scooping it up and standing. You walk quickly toward the front door, catching the doorknob as he's about to close it.

"Forgot your thcarf," you tell him, holding it up. He sets the container holding the cake down, reaching out for his scarf and winding it around his neck. He just stands there afterward, staring at you with an odd expression on his face.

"Ampora, what are you-" He catches your chin in his hand, leaning down and pressing your lips together. It makes you feel kind of tingly and warm and weird as fuck why is he kissing you wasn't he just complaining about cliches what the fuck? You clench your fists on the thighs of your sweatpants, leaning forward just a little maybe. It's been a long time since you've kissed anyone, and Eridan's lips are soft. He probably uses chap-stick or something. After a few seconds he's pulling away and you're rocking back on you heels. Your faces are equally flushed.

"Ampora, what the hell wath-"

"You're lovvable too-w, Sol," he murmurs, picking up the cake container and shutting the door quietly as he leaves. You stand there for a couple more seconds before there's a tiny, breathless laugh behind you. You turn around, still sluggish from the shock you'd just been dealt, to see Aradia standing there with their gloves clasped between their hands. That's right, they always come in through the side door. Their eyes are bright and they're grinning, cheeks flushed from the outside cold.

"Sooollux," they say in sing-song. "You've got some 'splainin' to do!" You groan and reach up under your tinted glasses to rub at your eyes.

"Whatever you think ith going on, it'th not," you say flatly, willing the color in your cheeks down. "We aren't talking about thith." They laugh.

"But, Sollux-!"

"No butth, AA! We're not talking about it. There'th nothing to talk about. Can we jutht go hang out in my room? Pleathe?" They step forward to hug you, wrapping their arms around your shoulders and then pulling away.

"You're not getting out of this that easy~!" They start walking toward your room and you roll your eyes, following after them. The **BOTTLE OF GENERIC PAINKILLERS** still sits tauntingly on your bedside table; looking at it makes you feel sick, and so you casually toss it as hard as you can under your bed while Aradia gets settled.

"Male pronouns today, please," he says casually, and you flop down on the bed next to him. It still smells like Eridan, and Aradia grins as he notices the same thing. Surprisingly, he doesn't ask anything about it for the rest of the day, and you're able to keep your mind off of whatever, exactly, it is that just happened.

Your name is **SOLLUX CAPTOR.** On **MONDAY** at **SCHOOL,** you and **ERIDAN** will act the same as always; you will feel **RELIEVED** and **ARADIA** will stop asking about that **WEEKEND** a couple days later. **ONE MONTH** from now, you will remember the **BOTTLE OF GENERIC PAINKILLERS** under your bed. You will be feeling particularly **DESPONDENT** and your head will seem **FAR TOO LOUD.** You will **SWALLOW** the contents of the bottle, and an **UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER** you will wake up to **ARADIA'S** tear-stained face above yours, with an **IV** in your **ARM** and the heavy feeling of **DEFEAT** on your **CHEST.** You are **INCREDIBLY TROUBLED.** The world didn't have to **FUCK YOU OVER,** because you did it on your own.


End file.
